4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
foreskin is a definite game changer
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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