actually, I'm a sock model
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
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