my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Randomize