thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
