the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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