he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
