i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
