I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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