You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize