so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
