Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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