38 yer olds are good kisserssss
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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