i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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