Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Where is the hickey?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
