The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
