Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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