i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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