Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
