Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
