I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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