The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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