But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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