I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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