Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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