my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
