I like to think it a success when the cops are called
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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