4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
