Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
