She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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