No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
