Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
