they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
