The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
