Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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