i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Then you guys just all showered together...?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
