SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Randomize
