I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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