I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
