I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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