Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
