lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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