found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
