I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
