I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
