you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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