Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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