Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize