sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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