When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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