He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
