I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
