I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
