We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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