i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
