I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
