Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
