last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
